i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
