Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
