JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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