I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
