it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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