we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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