plz talk dirty to me
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
