I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
