That's intense
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
