She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
