I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
