Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
