My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
