Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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