I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
