he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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