Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Will exercising make me less horny?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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