Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
