She's JV to your varsity
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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