No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Randomize
