Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
even my farts smell like vagina
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
