is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
