Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i can't believe i had my finger in that
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
