How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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