Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
