Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you have to choose: penises or morals?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
