i will never coherently bang her
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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