theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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