You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Did I show you my penis last night?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
