I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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