I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
