i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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