these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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