A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Less talking, more tequila
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
