the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
