physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
