he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
