It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
