I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
