If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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