I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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