So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
