I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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