96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
