they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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