Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
