i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
