My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
