is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm just crazy horny about you
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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