Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
