glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
