Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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