Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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