Hey man sorry I got all grabby
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize