He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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