And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
