so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
