i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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