another moral hangover. fuck.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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