Betty ford says i'm here all night
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
