at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
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