Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
